At a work party a couple of weeks ago an employee joked about how she shares a wall with the men's bathroom, and how much of a problem that is. She basically determined that men are gross and she hates that throughout her day she is forced to hear the worst possible noises. We laughed at her and I said something gross about how I was going to yeehaw next time I went to the bathroom so that she would know it was me.
I was in the bathroom today (#1, not #2) and I sneezed. I heard her say through the wall, "Bless you."
Here is the dilemma: There is a phenomenon that occurs for men in public bathrooms. When someone else is within earshot of a man's exrecmentation, that man's ass makes a lot of noise. If a man is alone at home, there is silence. I am not sure why this is the case, but it is truth. I was fine using the bathroom before because my ass did not know there was someone within earshot. Now I know and I worry that I will be forced to yeehaw next time I go to the bathroom.
3 comments:
That is hilarious! Please tell me that Michael told you about the incident in the bathroom last week at work.
I had not, but I suppose I should since the word "incident" makes it sound as though I shit my pants....which I barely did...kidding...no,it was only a smear...ha
Here is my wonderful tale. I was in the bathroom enjoying my time with Zuma (a really cool game on my phone) while hidden away in a stall, when someone tried multiple times to open the locked door.
Sorry, side tangent here, but what idiots are out there trying the door multiple times. If it's locked, do you really want to get in there?
Anyway, he tries the door about 3 to 4 times in a few seconds. Normally, after this the person will either go away or you will hear them start peeing. Not the case here.
There is nothing but silence broken by the guy sighing audibly every 30 seconds or so. At this point, I'm pretty much figuring I'll just wait him out. Done or not, I wasn't going to give someone this rude the satisfaction of getting the stall when there are at least 12 other bathrooms in our building.
His mere presence was actually annoying me now.
Finally, after a few minutes a voice breaks the rhythm of sighs and silence.
"I don't mean to rush you, but I'm hoping you'll be done very soon." He said.
Now, for a moment, I considered not answering. But, then I said, "I'm trying."...which I wasn't.
A couple of minutes later I left and the guy said thank you before rushing into the stall and unleashing a brick of solid hell upon this world.
I heard he actually caused a woman to pass out on the floor below us. She later had to take a bath in tomato juice just to try to shake the stench.
That's all I got.
Michael, that is a great story. And slightly embarassing for you to have to endure. It did, however, make me realize how much I enjoy bathroom humor.
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