This story just happened and is slightly embarassing. And definitely not a good predicament to be in.
I had to use the bathroom. #2. I went to the normal bathroom to discover it was occupied. We have an upstairs counterpart that was also occupied. That left me with one final and rarely used option...the executive bathrooms. They are so named because they are upstairs at the back of the building next to the GM of the station, a corporate VP and the head of our accounting department.
I locked myself in and preceded to do my business when I heard several doors closing just outside the bathroom. Suddenly the light went out. I thought this might be a prank so I waited patiently for a moment. I did not hear anyone outside snickering and the light did not come back on. I reached for my phone to use as a light source and discovered it was not in my pocket. I'd left it on my desk.
Darkness. I took a deep breath and weighed my options. I did not have many. I could either finish and clean myself in the dark, or I could pinch and find a light switch immediately. Neither sounded good to me. Despite the claustrophobia of darkness, I chose to finish.
Just as a side note: There are not many things stranger than pooping in the dark.
Anyway, I finished and cleaned myself the best I could without seeing what I was cleaning. I think I erred on the side of caution because my culo is a bit raw as I type this out. So, I finished and quickly searched the walls for a switch. I flailed in the dark like a blind person and enjoyed no success. I opened the door into another room of darkness, the hall that housed the entrance into the two bathrooms. I searched the walls for another switch and came up empty once again. I went out the second door and found light for the first time in three or four minutes.
On the wall were several light switches. I turned them all on and returned to the bathroom so that I could immediately check my cleaning job. Thankfully, I did a good job. I flushed, and there was a moment when I was not sure whether the toilet would flush cleanly because of the amount of TP I'd used. Thankfully, it went down.
All of this happened because the head of accounting closed the executive bathrooms down a little early without checking to see if the bathrooms were being used. Even though there was a moment of panic, and a few moments of blind wiping, I left the situation with nothing more than a raw culo, and the understanding not to use the executive bathrooms around 5 pm.
3 comments:
That's awesome. I actually had a similar situation in a bathroom at CBD's (my wife) school, where the lights are apparently motion sensitive and do not take into account the fact that someone pooing does not also walk around the bathroom or use the main door while pooing to keep the lights on. Luckily, I had my phone and called CBD, who was right outside, and she pushed the door open, thus turning the lights back on.
And yes, pooing in the dark is a very odd thing....luckily, I didn't have to clean up in the dark.
I understand the motion lights in the bathroom much more than I understand not having a light switch at all. I seriously felt my way around the bathroom for a good 2 minutes because I could not accept the fact that there was not a switch. I told myself it is in there somewhere, I just needed to find it. But I could not find it. It was frustrating.
Pooing in the dark is one of the lonliest feelings in the world. A real introspective experience...
I can see how instinct would cause you to keep searching for the switch. Logic says it should be there. I can also imagine that wasn't a great time, wondering how effective you'd cleaned, about someone walking in right then to see you appearing to caress the wall at some random point (as there was no switch to warrant your placement on the wall) and the general frustration of not finding a switch.
Did you think back to the Ann Rice books - when Lestat is first in his human form and has to poo?
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